10 Things You Can Do This Summer To (re)Fuel Your Mind, Body & Business

I love the summer time. I really do.

Outdoor music festivals, street fairs, sunbathing in the park, trips to the beach, rooftop parties.

There’s nothing quite like summer in NYC.

I don’t know about you but my productivity tends to go way down in the summer. My soul longs to be outdoors during this time of year breathing in fresh air and soaking up the sun.

The summer is notorious for slowing us down especially at work.  It’s a great time to take advantage of the slow season and refuel our senses. To clear away the busy work and focus on tasks that will build us up and sharpen our skills.

Over here we’re doing our best to take advantage of the summer months, stay sharp, and do what we love to do in empowering women entrepreneurs.

Here are 10 things you can do to refuel this summer:

1. Take a Toastmaster Class. Perfect your public speaking skills. Whether you speak publicly for work or not, improving this skill is a game changer for confidence, presentations, and enhancing brand visibility. Check your local Toastmaster chapter to attend a meeting.

2. Spruce up on Your LinkedIn profile. Are your roles up to date? Does your summary need refreshing? Is your photo outdated? Your LinkedIn is your most valuable asset as an entrepreneur; it leads to potential clients and strong partnerships.  Make sure it leaves a positive, professional impression.

3. Listen To A Business Empowerment Podcast. My favorite podcast at the moment is Being Boss. It is an amazing hub of resources and information from top experts in business with content updated regularly.

4. Purge. Out with the old, in with the new. Carve out time to clean out your inbox, organize client files, file away business cards, clear off your desk of old coffee mugs and random papers. Get rid of anything you no longer need.

5. Get new headshots. If your current shot is more than five years old, time for fresh new photos.

6. Start a Passion Project. Passion projects have a funny way of leading to new business ideas. What is a new fun creative idea you want to try for your business that won’t take a lot of time? New blog series, 7-day challenge, new program you want to test out, etc. Tap into your passions and (re)create from this place.

7. Revisit your goals. You know those goals you wrote down on January 1? Time to check in on them. Evaluate your progress, re-examine and re-align to stay on track.

8. Summer Reading. Grab your favorite business book you’ve been meaning to read, go to the park and read it under a tree. Some of my favorite books I would recommend are The War of Art by Steven Pressfield, Miracles at Work by Emily Bennington, and Start With Why by Simon Sinek.

9. Volunteer. I recently gave a talk to Dress for Success women’s group on interviewing and the most amazing experience. One of the most amazing ways of giving back is volunteering your time to those who need what you do the most. Research your favorite organization and reach out to them about doing volunteer work.

10. Remember Your Joy. Always, always, always remember to have fun. As entrepreneurs sometimes the work is consuming and we forget the most important ingredient is to always have fun. Take a painting class, go bike riding, or in my case play a sport. Making time for joy clears your mind and energizes you so that when you return to business you are focused and replenished.

Do you have any other ways that you love to refuel in the summer? Share with us in the comments below!

 

5 Ways Women Entrepreneurs Undermine Their Confidence

There is an invisible barrier that is hurting the population of women entrepreneurs everywhere. It is not often talked about openly when it comes to launching our own business, getting new clients, making more money, giving birth to new ideas and playing at a higher level. As a result, we suffer in silence; we put on a brave face, and keep to ourselves unable to talk about the real issue that so many of us struggle with. 

The issue: Confidence.

In the past week alone, I’ve had several private conversations with women entrepreneurs who were incredibly talented, passionate about their work, and had impressive accomplishments that still bump up against bouts of self-doubt when it came to their business.

So often as women entrepreneurs, we pour so much of ourselves into our dream business to make it work. Many of us have taken huge risks and made great sacrifices in order to create and do what we love. To some, a business may mean a chance to align with our purpose, build a legacy, make a difference, solve a problem or help others. Naturally, we can become susceptible to voices of doubt and insecurity that cause us to unknowingly fall into traps that undermine our self-confidence. I have done things in my own business that cause me to hold back and play small so when I see it in other women, I know it all too well. Here are some of the ways I see women entrepreneurs hold themselves back and what we can do about it.

1.      Shy away from self-promotion. Many women loathe being self-promotional. I get it. A lot of this comes from conditioning we learned when we were little girls that it’s not polite to gloat or toot your own horn. We worry about coming off self-serving and that we will put people off. Mothers aren’t worried about this when they talk about their children so why then should we not hold that same pride and enthusiasm when it comes to our business creations. When you share genuinely, it will not come from ego so don’t worry about turning people off.

What to do about it: Consider any biases you may have around self-promotion. What does it mean for you to own your accomplishments and share them with others? What proud results have you achieved in business do you not bring up in conversation with clients to avoid being self-promotional?

2.     Questioning their readiness. I put off submitting my articles to editors for years because I didn’t think I was “ready” to call myself a writer. I convinced myself I needed to have more articles under my belt in order to be taken seriously. Often I hear women say I need more education, more training, more research, more information, a website, business cards, etc etc. When we want to take our business to the next level, we will undoubtedly always feel unready. Left to our own devices we’ll fill our time with countless activities to feel “more prepared” but underneath they just serve as distractions. In some instances maybe you will need additional training but in most cases, your voice of doubt may be sneaking in.

What to do about it: Question the voice that says you’re not ready. Focus on what makes you prepared right now.

3.     We box ourselves in. When I was younger, I used to always copy what my big brother was doing. I followed him around and wanted to play with the big kids and do what they were doing. As entrepreneurs, we often do the same thing. We look to what other key players in our industry are doing and we emulate them. Sometimes in following other people’s creativity we stifle our own. While it is wise to learn and follow in the footsteps of others more successful than you, be careful not to box yourself in.  What may work for them will not necessarily work for you. You have to find your own way to stand out and dare to be different. Entrepreneurship is a great vehicle for creativity and authentic self-expression. People will buy from you based on what you uniquely bring to the table.

What to do about it: Find where you might be putting yourself in a box based on industry standards. Where can you add a bit more creativity to how you do business?

 4.     Self-comparing our success to others. I see this so many times and it still creeps in for me from time to time; self-comparison. Social media also plays a major factor as scroll through our feeds to see confident women crushing it in business that causes us to questioning our own progress. First of all social media presents a curated stream of success that does not represent the whole picture, just the highlights. Every woman who’s reached a high level of success had a beginning and a middle in their journey that didn’t look as glamorous. As long as we define ourselves by what others have achieved we always find ourselves falling short.

What to do about it: Search for and define your own definition of success for your business. Make it something that inspires you. Is it the number of followers you have (totally fine if that is your gauge)? Is it the people you inspire even if it’s just one person? Is it consistently hitting your sales goals? Make your success personal. This way despite what you may see other people doing, you can stay focused hitting your own targets in a meaningful way.

 5.     Blending in or hiding behind our work. Sometimes we can get so comfortable behind our laptops or even for those of us who do one-on-one work with clients, this can be the best place to hide. Yet many of us want to be seen and heard, to bring more visibility to the work we do and be a voice in our industry to reach and empower the masses. We must be willing to put ourselves on panels, in front of audiences, and at the head of wild ideas. To speak up and speak out about the problems we are here to solve through truth and conviction. In doing so we learn to become the leaders we secretly desire to be and lead the way not only for our clients but also for the next generation.

What to do about it: Inventory the time you spend in your business. What percentage of the time are you working solo or privately with clients? On social media promoting your business? Take an honest account of how you might be hiding in your business.

Remember, it’s not about reaching pinnacle levels of confidence and being confident all the time. Inevitably you will confront challenges that threaten to rob you of your confidence. But what we can do is practice seeing where we might be guilty of stealing our own confidence and giving our power away.

Where do you see yourself in the list above? What other ways do you see yourself undermining your confidence?

 

 

 

Starting a business and dealing with uncertainty

The most common reason I hear brilliant, talented women hold themselves back from running their business full time is that the thought of leaving their full time job is terrifying. Some of them have kids to take care of not to mention health insurance and affording just the basic necessities to live in one of the most expensive cities in the world. What if the business doesn’t earn enough income? What if I lose my home? I am just not ready to give up my lifestyle i.e. daily café lattes, brunch with girlfriends on the weekend. The fear is justified. However this fear keeps us trapped.

In this article, I won’t try to convince you that you should take the leap into entrepreneurship. I won’t tell you to jump and the net will appear. I won’t even give you a bulletproof plan to successfully leave your job and start your business. I don’t believe those exist and you certainly don’t need me to create a plan for you. I will tell you this however, when it comes to trading in your regular paycheck for a dream that may or may not work you are choosing a level of uncertainty that can be so uncomfortable it will make you squirm. That uncertainty of being your own boss will never go away. I have spoken with women who have been in business for ten and twenty years who still to this day combat uncertainty in their business. I recall a conversation with a woman business owner when I first started my company. She ran a startup and shared with me times in her business when she wasn’t sure she could make payroll for her employees. I’ve spoken with women in business who confided in me times where they’ve laid on their kitchen floor in tears wondering how they would make the business work. Paula Tursi, my speaker at this months Dreaming + Doing event openly shared that in the first years of running her yoga studio, she says “we were broke and I seriously questioned if we should close the doors.”

The uncertainty struggle in entrepreneurship is real folks. The success stories you often hear and read about from people who are doing really well in business are not without its dire, nail biting moments of pushing through uncertainty.

In interviewing over 50 successful women in business throughout the years, one of the main themes that constantly shows up in our conversations is that they learned to take risks. They are no different than you or I; some had families and kids to take care of, some had gone through health challenges, some even started their business while holding down a day job, and supporting a household.  They saw the risk in starting a company and accepted it.

Taking risks and moving through uncertainty is a muscle we learn to strengthen over time. Risk doesn’t have to mean giant leaps like quitting your job today and going into business the next although it could be for the person who believes this is right for them. Taking risks can also be the actions you take that start off small but ultimately lead you to where you want to be. There is no right or wrong way to “do entrepreneurship” but make no mistake about it, weathering bouts of uncertainty will always be apart of the story. Instead of avoiding it completely, let it become your wisest teacher. After all, we deal with uncertainty on some level every single day. Maybe it’s time we start using it to guide us rather than running away from it.

How do you deal with uncertainty? What do you think you could learn from it when it comes to starting your business?

If You’re Thinking About Becoming A Coach, Read This First!

I often get asked the question of how I became a life coach. People are genuinely interested in how one chooses a profession such as this. The first life coach I met hired me to do her headshots when I was freelancing full time as a photographer. Even then when I met her, it didn’t click until much later that coaching was for me. While working as a photographer, I realized I wanted to help people beyond just taking pictures of them. I wanted to inspire and motivate them. Finding photography was life-changing for me and it wasn’t until I had gone through my own transformation of leaving my job to work for myself that I felt joy in teaching others to do the same.

Many of the coaches I know became coaches only after experiencing their own personal change that transformed them. Careercoach.com Founder, Tanya Ezekiel switched gears when she realized there was much more to life than what she endured in her demanding career as a Wall Street executive. Mark Schall, became a coach after the loss of a dear friend which helped put things in perspective for him. Tara Mohr, author of Playing Big became a coach when she grew tired of her B+ life and pursued her calling to help women play bigger in life and work.

Very rarely does one set out to become a coach but somehow coaching tends to finds us instead. We experience it first as a deep desire to help people and connect with them beyond the mundane. We hold a deep love and appreciation for humanity and the potential we all have for transformation and greatness. We have witnessed it in ourselves and find pure joy in bringing it out in others. It is a true privilege to be a coach. However it is also a big responsibility. Being a coach for the last six years and building a business coaching others, I’ve learned some hard-earned lessons around what it takes to be successful. With so many new coaches starting out, I’m passing along my top 8 lessons I learned about building a coaching practice.

While this list is specifically tailored to coaches, it can be applied in most businesses where you are providing a service. 

Lesson #1 Decide if you want to get certified as a coach. There are a lot of pros and cons to getting the certification. The coaching industry is not regulated so anyone can say they are a coach without having the credentials. I chose to go through a coach training program to become certified. At the time, since coaching was so new to me I wanted to learn more about the methodologies used to be an effective coach. Having your certification also builds credibility. However, in all my years of coaching I have never been asked if I am certified but I have gotten amazing work opportunities that specifically wanted certified coaches. That said, it is up to you and ultimately it is a personal choice. If you do decide to pursue a coaching certification, do your research of the program that will be right for you.

Lesson #2 Coach, coach coach! I see so many new coaches make the mistake of getting their website done, having business cards, setting up Facebook pages and worrying about their niche first. When I ask them how many clients do they have, most of them say none. In the beginning of building your practice focus on building your craft first. Find pro-bono clients and even some paid ones and coach as much as you can. This will help build your confidence and know the areas you help people the most. There is nothing worse than a coach who is not confident in her abilities so focus on the people side of the business first then all the other things will fall into place.

Lesson #3 Don’t confuse your self worth with the value your clients are getting. Price accordingly. Another major block that gets in the way for most new coaches is devaluing their work. I did this in the beginning where I charged really low fees while trying to build a sustainable business. I constantly questioned my worth as a coach and whether clients saw me as worthy enough to pay a certain amount. This screws up the work that you do for your clients not just from a business standpoint but energetically, it creates a block both for you and for your client. When you use your self worth as a gauge for your fees you neglect to take into account the actual value that you are providing to your client. The work you do for your client should always be about the value they receive not whether you think you are worthy of being paid a certain amount. That kind of thinking stems from ego and gets in the way of truly serving at its highest level.  I’ll give you a quick example:

One year while building my practice, I raised my rates to the highest I’ve ever charged. I quoted my new fee to a prospect that was interested in working with me. She was afraid of the price tag but I stood firm and she made the payment. The entire time I coached her, I was so worried that she would think I wasn’t worth the money she paid so I constantly felt like I had to prove myself in each session. This particular client ended up being one of my best clients and had the biggest transformation through our work together. At the end of our time she shared with me that although she was afraid in the beginning to spend so much money she quickly saw the shifts in her life and business that the money became a non-issue. She said the breakthroughs she experienced both personally and professionally were priceless.

So again, don’t let the money get in the way. Serve your clients by creating the most value for them.

Lesson #4 Surround yourself with successful coaches. There’s a lot we don’t know as coaches when first starting out. If you truly want to make the biggest impact and do good work seek out the best in the biz and learn from them. I was very fortunate in that I was able to make some really good connections with coaches and secured opportunities to work alongside them. I learned the nuts and bolts of building a coaching business, creative ways to secure steady streams of income, and also learned powerful coaching techniques. The key to any great success in business is spending time with people who have done the thing you desire to do.

Lesson #5 Walk your talk. The thing about being a coach is that it keeps you honest and constantly presents opportunities to develop yourself personally. The law of attraction is real folks. I constantly find myself attracting clients and situations in my own life that are the same as what my clients go through. This happens to a lot of coaches as well. Use these situations to practice your craft and transform yourself. If you don’t, how will you be able to do it for your clients? If you are a health/wellness coach you better make sure you are honoring your own health. If you are a divorce coach, you must be able to speak to how you successfully navigated a divorce yourself. If you are a life coach, you better make sure your life is perfect. Just kidding on that last part! Being a coach is not about having your shit together or being perfect at anything. It’s about being human. We have all stumbled and made mistakes but you must be in your integrity when working with other people. People can sense when you’re being disingenuous. 

Lesson #6 Invest in your own coach. Many of us want to be coaches but we don’t want to hire our own coach. I hear so many excuses why this is the case. If you want people to hire you, they will have the same excuses that you have for not doing so. Even doctors need their own doctors and therapists have therapists. This is not a game you want to play alone. Left to our own devices we cannot bring out the best in ourselves, even the most successful. I resisted hiring a coach until my 2nd year of business and have worked with different coaches since. I wasn’t making a lot of money then so it didn’t make sense to me. But I was making the decision based on the level I was at the time, not the higher level I wanted to be. This shift changed the game for me. I hired a coach, relaxed into the process and more than double my income that year.

Lesson #7 Don’t be afraid of the hustle. In the beginning, I hustled like mad to network and get clients for my business. I told everyone and anyone that I was a coach and to keep me in mind if anyone was looking for my services. This helped me to get out of my comfort zone; it taught me to get myself out there and ask for what I want. Your clients can come from anywhere. Your only job is to constantly “show up” and be of service. The hustle never stops so find ways to enjoy the process. There are days when I spend hours on the not so sexy back-end stuff like making phone calls, writing sales pages, and prospecting. This is all apart of the work you are doing in the world to serve people. It’s not for everyone so be honest with yourself in what you are choosing.

Lesson #8 Find your own way. This was a huge turning point for me. In my first few years as a coach I tried doing what everyone else did to build a successful business. I was on social media, had a Twitter account (even though I NEVER used Twitter), went to BNI networking meetings at the crack of dawn because other coaches had done it, flew across the country to attend conferences from big wig coaches who had houses on the beach and bought their programs for thousands of dollars – I did it all. I got burnt out very quickly chasing down gurus to mimic their success. In the end, I stopped chasing and focused on the things I was really good at. I was always a good writer so now I focus my time on writing beautiful articles and essays. I love to speak and do motivational talks so I make sure to do speaking engagements as much as I can. I love having thought provoking, inspiring conversations with people so I carve out time to do this regularly. All of these ways have led clients to me, sometimes unexpectedly. My advice to you would be, listen and learn information from others who have been successful but take only what works for you and leave the rest. What worked for them may not work for you. Don’t be afraid to find your own way.

There is SO much more I could say about becoming a coach. I loved my journey. It wasn’t without its bumps and difficult challenges but the people I have met along the way, more than make up for it. When you choose this life you embrace it all.

Which of these lessons resonates most with you? What has been your experience as a new coach?

 

SHE WENT FOR HER DREAMS COACHING ~ We offer strategic advice and empowerment without the fluff. Take advantage of our special discounted summer rates for new clients. Set up a 30-minute free creative business brainstorm session to see how we can help. Details to join are here.

My first lessons in women's leadership

When I think about the first example of women leaders, I think of the women in my family. My mother, my aunts, and my grandmother. In order to know where you’re going, you must first understand who you are and where you come from. So much of who we are as women has much to do with the qualities and traits we inherit from our very first role models. What did we learn from them? How do we model some of the same actions, behaviors, and beliefs? And how do we become our own version of a great woman leader so that we can model it for the next generation?

In a word, the women of my family were: strong. They were women who emigrated from their home country of Jamaica to come to the states in search of better opportunities for their family. All they knew was how to be strong. A trait that I am positive was passed down to them from their ancestors. Women of my mother and grandmothers generation were counted on to be many things. In essence, they were the glue that held everything together.

Growing up, I watched the women in my family raise us kids, run a household, work extremely hard, defy incredible odds, overcome difficult challenges, give of themselves constantly, sacrifice over and over again, be the matriarch, protect their loved ones, and hold it all together day after day.

They were also nurturers, lovers, caregivers, confidants, healers, and incredible pillars of wisdom.

My grandmother was the matriarch of my family and someone I would come to know as a big dreamer. While spending most of her life in Jamaica she always dreamed of coming to the states to build a life for herself and her family. In 1972, she finally did. Her choice to come here was incredibly difficult. She took a major risk not knowing if everything would work out the way she imagined. If she failed, it would not only affect her but her children as well. But she did it anyway knowing that there was a larger mission at stake. Here she had an opportunity to create positive change, to carve a new path, and lead her family to where they would thrive. My grandmother stepped up to lead despite being afraid because she could only follow what she believed would be best at the time.

This kind of leadership is so prevalent in so many households. The women we know as mothers, grandmothers, sisters, aunts, wives, girlfriends, students, best friends, managers, CEOs, entrepreneurs who lead every single day and do so much to change the world around us. They do not take a day off, they do not complain, they simple rise with faith, courage, and the vulnerability to pave the way for the rest of us.

We come from a long lineage of great women leaders. It’s in our DNA. From the sheroes we saw as little girls, they helped to shape and mold us to become the women we are today. We create a ripple effect by deciding who we want to be as leaders and the impact we leave on others. The power we have as women is manifold.

Our words, our actions, and our belief in ourselves have the power to effect real change. It first starts in our homes, with our families, in our communities, the workplace, within our business, and finally the world. Rising up into our leadership has never been more imperative; it’s up to us to show each other the way through truth, kindness, and unshakeable courage.

Who were your first role models of women leaders? What did you learn from them? How have they shaped who you are today?

Why Do We Stay? How Women Can Stop Denying Their Intuition and Get Unstuck

Image courtesy of Norwood Themes

Image courtesy of Norwood Themes

I sat across the table quietly listening to him talk. We were at the corner Chinese Food restaurant at the nearby corner from where we lived, waiting for our order. Same as we had many nights before when cooking at home seemed like too much work for our NYC too-busy-to-cook lifestyle. But this night was different. This night had the potential to change the course of my life. It was the night when it finally hit me that the man that I had spent the last seven years with was not going to be the man I would spend the rest of my life with.  As the words touched my ears, “I don’t want to get married”, I instantly felt drained. In a way his words confirmed my suspicions but actually hearing them said out loud were like daggers to the heart. And in that moment, what happened next can only be described in the same way near-death patients report having an experience of leaving their physical body. I felt as if my soul left my body and I actually watched myself sitting at the table listening to my ex boyfriend tell me the thing I didn’t want to hear. I then heard my own wisdom, a voice whisper to me advising me that this was not where I should be and it was time to leave. I had a choice: Was I going to stay with this guy knowing that he wasn’t going to put a ring on it? Or do I walk away?

I chose to stay. Less than a year later, we broke up. 

I recall that memory at the Chinese food restaurant a few years ago like it was yesterday. Looking back, I can really appreciate having had that experience because over the years since then, I’ve learned how to listen to and trust my intuition. And as it turns out, the breakup opened me up to a new joy in my life that I would not have had the opportunity to experience had I stayed in the relationship. Sometimes in order for our greatest wishes and desires to become a reality and for us to become the empowered women we know we can be, we need to let go of the things that hold us back in order to make room for the things that will support us. That’s just how life works sometimes.

I’ve had conversations with many women who’ve had their own Chinese restaurant moments.  A time in their lives, their career, or a relationship when it was clear that it was time for them to move on.  Yet we hesitate or doubt what we are truly feeling and brush it off. 90% of the time when we get an intuitive nudge about something, we respond by:

1.      Going into denial about it.

2.     Waiting it out with false hope that the situation will resolve on it’s own.

3.     Ignoring it all together.

In my example above, I chose option #2. That seems to be a popular option for many of us. I worked with a woman who knew it was time to leave her job but chose to stay and took on another role within the same company. A year later, that pit in the stomach feeling returned so she finally decided to listen. She made plans to leave the company and pursue another career path. She says when she didn’t listen to her intuition the first time, “It was like postponing the inevitable.”

When it’s time to move on, it’s time to move on. And when we ignore this knowing that our bodies try to alert us to, we only prolong the inevitable.

If you sense that your intuition might be nudging you to move on from a situation that is no longer working, here are three practical ways to respond:

Get curious. Activate your self-inquiry. Ask your inner wisdom for more clarity about where it’s leading you to. If you are feeling resistance to moving on, ask yourself what is it that you fear about that idea. Curiosity opens you up to new answers and possibilities rather than staying stuck in your own judgment.

Talk it out. Gather your closest friends and confidants to let them know what you’re experiencing. Do this in a supportive group and ask them not to give you advice but just listen. Sometimes articulating your thoughts, feelings, and fears out loud helps you to hear yourself talk about it and take ownership of what you’re feeling.

Create a plan. If you determine that your intuition is right and it is time to move on, make a plan to do so. Understanding that it is not always easy to just walk away from a situation, making a plan with concrete steps will allow you to take incremental steps while honoring your inner wisdom.

If you’re currently facing your own situation and you feel it’s time to leave, don’t delay the inevitable. Choosing to leave a situation that is no longer working for you is the most empowering thing you can do for yourself. Listen to your intuition and determine your next course of action.

With love,

Ariane

If this post resonates with you and you feel moved to go deeper into this conversation, take the next step and reach out to us to get support.

The Thing You Resist

So often we experience our lives heading in a direction that evokes a sense of discomfort and uneasiness. Maybe we feel trapped in our particular situation unable to see a way out. We feel stuck and almost paralyzed by a problem we are facing. A problem that we nervously feel is sticking around longer than we want. So we take action in a desperate search to resolve this problem. We may seek advice from our friends. We study what other people are doing and try doing that same thing. We read every book and article on the subject looking for new insight. We try every healing modality out there from hypnotherapy to Ayahuasca looking for some kind of breakthrough. Or maybe we just sit silently in meditation waiting for that unicorn mystical aha moment to strike us with inspiration and earth shattering clarity.

Days, weeks, and even months go on like this. Everyday we are searching for the answer; that cloud parting moment that will change our lives forever and take us out of the problem that seems to be the bane of our existence. But instead of getting the answer, what we end up experiencing is silence and more waiting. It seems as though despite our efforts; despite staying positive and optimistic, despite our patience it looks like nothing has changed. Our life remains the same and frustration creeps in.

In one final cry for answers, we turn our heads upward and ask the spirits: What is it that I am not seeing? What is it that I should do? What action do I take?

And suddenly you hear: The thing that you are resisting is the thing you must do.

And as if all time stops you realize with deep understanding and clarity that yes, in fact the thing that you have most been resisting, avoiding, denying, mis-trusting, is the thing you must do.

We spend our time frantically searching, taking on more, running ourselves into the ground, distracting ourselves with meaningless activities to avoid the things that are hardest for us to do. We fill our days with work that is unfulfilling, spend too much time on social media, engage in shallow conversation instead of talking about the things that really matter. We avoid feeling our own pain and confronting our own demons because, well because, it’s hard af.

We avoid sitting down to write the book we’ve always wanted to write. We avoid picking up the phone to ask for help because we don’t want to expose ourselves. We run from the uncomfortable conversations. We avoid putting ourselves out there.

We avoid letting go of control because for too long drive, force, and sheer will is what we used to “make it happen” and manufacture our lives. We resist taking the first action toward our dreams because then that makes them, “more real”.

We resist and resist and resist the truth until our souls are worn out and we realize that to continue on like this would only deplete us further.

Resisting the uncomfortable has gotten you this far but now staying comfortable has become more painful than the discomfort you avoid.

Resistance serves us when we are fighting against societal injustices, patriarchal oppression, and acts of unkindness. Those are the things that as a collective we must rise up and speak out against.

But when it comes to your own souls purpose and undoing the fears that constrict you from living freely and being alive, seek out the hard truths through what you are resisting. Look to the things you avoid doing. Look to the things you hide about yourself. Look to the things that you are most afraid of. They hold the answers and have always been right in front of you this whole time.  Do the thing you are most resisting and experience true freedom.

If you're in New York City, join us on Jun 15th for a Night of Dreaming + Doing for inspired conversation and meaningful action. Details are here.