Let’s Get Visible, Visible -- What introverted women can learn about being seen

Being seen is a struggle for a lot of us. If we are more on the private side or are introverted, putting ourselves out there can be an uphill battle.

Some of us are even hiding in our businesses or behind the screens of our laptops instead of breaking away to be in the world and connect with those around us. Sometimes it’s easier and more comfortable to be an observer or hope that people will notice us by working hard and letting the results speak for themselves.

That kind of thinking won’t work here.

In my corporate days, I wouldn’t speak up at meetings for fear of saying the wrong thing then would kick myself when much louder, extroverted person next to me (usually a dude) would say what I was thinking and get all the credit.

This bad habit followed me even as I became an entrepreneur. The truth is I truly enjoyed interacting with people and speaking; I just chose to do it in a one on one format. Unfortunately, we don’t always have those opportunities in the work setting or when running a business. I had to unlearn those old behaviors if I ever wanted to advance in my business and challenge myself to take center stage.

Ladies we have to become more comfortable with being seen. Especially as women of color and being the only person of color in the room most times, it’s essential that we let others see us and be a recognizable player in our industries. This is the best most effective way to build visibility and become recognized in your field. 

In my coaching sessions with clients, I sometimes share mystical teachings to help my clients build their confidence and comfort in being seen. We do this by taking on the qualities of certain planets. In the cases of building visibility, the ideal planet to emulate is the Sun. The Sun is bright ball of light in the sky that shines unapologetically, is seen by all without embarrassment or shame, and brings joy to everyone who is touched by it’s glow. These are qualities that if we are short on, we can learn to cultivate.

Think how taking on these qualities can help you become a better speaker, magnetic, and shine your light without care for what others might think. Think about the people in your life and work right now who possess these qualities. Do they struggle with being seen? Didn’t think so.

So how about you?

The idea of being seen is very much a mindset thing. The good news is there are some very practical ways to boost your visibility. Here they are:

  1. Challenge yourself to speak up at least 3x in a large meeting. 

  2. Publish a blog or write an article on LinkedIn

  3. Publish a video of yourself speaking into the camera

  4. Comment on posts and engage with your online community

  5. Go to networking events and introduce yourself to three people

  6. Build expertise in your industry and share your ideas regularly

  7. Be a guest on a podcast

  8. Practice speaking publicly at least once a month. Volunteer to present material or lead a workshop.

  9. At meetings, sit towards the front of the table rather than the back

  10. Volunteer to say a toast at dinner gatherings

Cultivating our relationship to speaking up and being seen, we can learn how to powerfully take up space and share who we are with the world without sacrificing our true self. 

How to Become Confident With Money -- the practice that changed my life.

Sometimes when we embark on the entrepreneurial path, our darkest money messages rise to the surface so that we have to deal with them.

After years of believing that money was this elusive thing that was never around and constantly living that reality, I realized I needed and quite honestly deserved better. I took matters into my own hands and I started doing Financial Fridays.

Let me tell you about Financial Fridays.

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Escaping the Career Waiting Trap

I've noticed lately that many of us fall victim to the waiting trap. This is especially common among us ‘go with the flow,’ ‘take life as it comes,’ ‘laid back’ types. We pride ourselves on being very thoughtful and reflective and not impulsive or overzealous when it comes to making a decision, especially the life-changing ones. But could our passive approach to life be one of the main things that hold us back from having what we want? How many times have we strongly desired change in our lives; a new job, more money, to start a business, to take a class, to get more clients, only to find that months or even years later, we’re stuck in the same problem?What gives?

Goals we never meet

Someone many years ago once told me that the reason I didn’t have what I wanted is because I hadn’t fully committed to it. I was still on the fence, still “figuring things out,” waiting for something to change while not actively going after it. Even when I did take action, my level of commitment was not consistent and I eventually fell back into old patterns. Does this sound familiar?

With the start of a new year, I know many of you set new goals, new intentions, and new promises for yourselves. But the truth is, a year from now, many of us will find ourselves in the same situation. Even with good intentions for change, only a fraction (just 8%!) will actually achieve what we set out to do this year.

What is really going on here?

Fighting change by waiting

Here’s the thing. When it comes to making change, deep down we fear it. We fear that if we take control and become active in pursuing what we want, we might actually get it. And that scares us to death. As humans, we are frightened by the idea of change. We crave comfort and predictability in our routine and environment, so daring to make changes rings the alarm of discomfort and risk.

Most of us avoid making change by entering the waiting trap. Waiting is passive. It keeps us stagnant, stale, and locked into a holding pattern that looks a lot like our comfort zones. Our tendency to wait things out is oftentimes fueled by fear.

Waiting can show up as:

  • Indecision

  • Procrastination

  • Uncertainty

  • Hesitation

  • Wait-and-See

Waiting can rob us of joy, happiness and fulfillment. But it often manifests itself in sneaky ways. Beth Grant coined the term the Passive Yes as something we use to stay in Waiting. This is when you pretend to take action but you’re not really all-in. An example can be that someone claims they want to grow a new skillset, signs up for a seminar or workshop but doesn’t show up or do the exercises. Another example is when that same aspiring professional claims they don’t have the time or money to work on their goals. We can be really effective at keeping ourselves busy with other things that we claim are important or necessary but really just serve as distractions from what we truly want.

This mind trick can keep us in a perpetual state of Waiting. We search for answers and evidence but become overwhelmed with the possibilities before ever making a decision or taking action.

So what is the alternative?

Steps to take to escape waiting

It’s important to recognize what Waiting truly is: a manifestation of fear. Sometimes all it takes is acknowledging that when you find yourself procrastinating or locked in indecision. Ask yourself what’s really going on and you may find your fear of what could happen if you make this change is dictating your life.

Listen to your fear, and understand where it is coming from. The thing we most fear, that worst case scenario, rarely manifests the way we think it would. Even unlikely worst case scenarios can teach us important lessons.

Once you recognize this, ask yourself the following questions:

  1. What would happen if you stayed stuck waiting for something to change?

  2. How would you feel if it was a year from now and nothing has changed?

  3. What are you willing to risk and explore in order to keep going forward, and what do you have to gain?

Enlist help and support as you work through this. Partner with someone who will not hold you back and commiserate with you but will empower and hold you accountable to take action.

When you take action, and this is very important, make sure it is an action that gets you out of your comfort zone. It doesn’t have to be a super huge action that terrifies you. But it will make you feel a little uncomfortable. If it does, that’s a good sign that it’s a move that will help you grow.

Now it’s you’re turn. Ready to get out of Waiting?

Two sacred routines you must set up to get organized in your business

Two sacred routines you must set up to get organized in your business

How are you spending time on your business? Two hours each week is often all you need to make a huge leap.

Friday and Sunday are two of my favorite days of the week. For me, they are sacred days where I devote my attention to check in on the progress and growth of my business. When I skip or flake on these weekly appointments in my business, it just doesn’t work as well.

Today, I’m sharing my two sacred routines that I do in my business and how I use it to bring more structure and organization in my work.

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How to Deal With Fear of Putting Yourself Out There

How to Deal With Fear of Putting Yourself Out There

As social creatures, we constantly crave validation and to feel that what we do matters. We want to be socially accepted and feel that we belong. It’s a human need and no one is immune to criticism no matter how thick your skin is. We are hardwired to blend in. It’s the reason why marketing is so hard for a lot of us because it requires bringing a level of visibility to you and your work that oftentimes makes us uncomfortable.

The way out is through 4 ways of willingness.

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