Six thirty when the alarm clock goes off and I’m nestled underneath the covers, I open my eyes and immediately feel the cold air hitting the exposed parts of my skin. I quickly turn to hit the snooze button, curl my legs in closer and pull the blanket up over my head. I lay there mentally preparing myself to leave the warmth of the bed when it hits me, the change of seasons is here and I’m not ready yet.
No matter how long it’s been, mornings like these always remind of me of when I was a kid waking up to go to school. It’s an old familiar feeling of having to say goodbye to the carefree whimsical days of summer and reluctantly greeting a long school year ahead of me. Those days are gone now but instead of facing a long school year I am now confronting another kind of change, one that I am not quite ready for. Not ready for the downward change in temperature, the way my eyebrows furrow and how my face tightens while battling the cold winds. Not ready for how my shoulders raise to just below my ears and my back begins to hunch over as I try to stay warm. I’m not even ready for how leisurely strolls turn into speed walking as I race to get out of the cold.
But while a new Fall season is ushered in and the environment adjusts to make preparations for its arrival, I know that this time is my time for inner reflection and stillness. While my body goes into hibernation mode, this is my time for clear thinking. To fit pieces together and discard the ones that don’t fit. Playtime will be discovered in the smallest of ways as I take on new projects that stimulate my senses. I always thought this apartment could use a new coat of paint; maybe it’s time for a new look. Or maybe I’ll take on a new photo project that I’ve always wanted to try but never had the time to.
This is time of year when we begin to reminisce about the good and the bad from last nine months and entertain the thoughts of new possibilities of what the new year will hold. It is an exciting yet scary thought as I mentally recharge, releasing the fears and doubts of older versions of myself that no longer serve me. While the days will become shorter and the hustle and bustle from the day quickly dissipate into a cold quiet nights, my thoughts become slower and the voice of my heart becomes louder creating guided steps directing my path every day.
So in the coming months when the tree leaves become bright orange and the wind sweeps them up into swirling circles, I will know that a change in season will be upon me. I am ready.