Last week, I took a step outside my comfort zone and got in front of the camera! We had a small video crew complete with a videographer, creative director, and my good friend (for moral support!) in a cozy apartment in Chelsea, New York City. Now, I’ve been in front of the camera before but mostly for small things and personal projects that no one would really see. But this time the video would live front and center on my website where on it, I would be welcoming new visitors to my corner of the world. We pulled out all the stops. This meant that on the day of the shoot I’d be dolled up a little more than usual with hair, makeup, and wardrobe. And taking part in a well thought out video concept with weeks of preparation.
Days leading up to the video shoot, I gave a lot of thought to who I wanted to be in the video. For inspiration, I looked up some of my favorite gurus who had also done videos to see what I could glean from them. What started as a simple search for inspiration to get my creative juices flowing turned into a self-comparison zone. Thoughts like: ‘my hair isn’t as smooth as hers, I don’t have an outfit like that, she makes it look so easy, can I be as good as her?’ The I’m-not-good-enough thoughts started to seep in. I could tell because I literally felt the energy leaving my body as I began to feel drained rather than inspired.
Cue Cher’s character from Moonstruck: Snap Out of It!
I saw what was happening and hit the reset button. I realized that who I wanted to be in the video, was myself. Nothing more, nothing less. I let go of any fears I had of not measuring up and promised myself that I would simply allow myself to be an expression of my truest self.
Fast forward to the video shoot day and there I was, with big hair, outfit from H&M, and bare feet feeling as comfortable as ever in my own skin. While shooting I felt in flow, passionate, and full of energy.
That experience and many experiences like it that I’ve had in the past have taught me many lessons about confidence in my career. I share a few of them with you here:
Lesson #1: There comes a time when you’ve got to stop caring about what other people think.
Some people may watch my video and think I’m a total boob and that’s ok. I know that my work is not for everyone. If we pretend to be someone we’re not or do what the other cool kids are doing, we’ll never know what it’s like to live from an authentic place or experience true fulfillment in our work.
Lesson #2: Everyone messes up.
There were times during the shoot where I stumbled over my words and got makeup on my white top. It’s all good, learn to roll with it. Sometimes we put a lot of pressure on ourselves to get it right and be perfect. We have an unrealistic perception of what success looks like but I guarantee you, success includes a few stumbles along the way.
Lesson #3: Don’t be afraid to be center stage.
Between my voice filling the air, hand gesturing, my big hair, and my physical body in front of the camera; my being the subject of attention for the duration of the shoot felt a little uncomfortable in the beginning. I stood firm in the discomfort and it wore off in time. A lot of us prefer to be in the background and avoid being seen because it is more “safe” and we don’t risk being judged by other people. If this is you and you fear judgment from other people, go back to Lesson #1. Remember, your life is your stage, don’t be afraid to play your starring role.
So now I want to hear from you, what lesson resonated with you the most? What lesson can you try this week? Share your comments below.
Coming up next week, we’re kicking off a three call series on ‘confidence & assertiveness in women where I’ll be sharing practical insight, tools, and personal stories towards defining my own confidence. I won’t want you to miss it. Sign up here.
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