The Thing You Resist

So often we experience our lives heading in a direction that evokes a sense of discomfort and uneasiness. Maybe we feel trapped in our particular situation unable to see a way out. We feel stuck and almost paralyzed by a problem we are facing. A problem that we nervously feel is sticking around longer than we want. So we take action in a desperate search to resolve this problem. We may seek advice from our friends. We study what other people are doing and try doing that same thing. We read every book and article on the subject looking for new insight. We try every healing modality out there from hypnotherapy to Ayahuasca looking for some kind of breakthrough. Or maybe we just sit silently in meditation waiting for that unicorn mystical aha moment to strike us with inspiration and earth shattering clarity.

Days, weeks, and even months go on like this. Everyday we are searching for the answer; that cloud parting moment that will change our lives forever and take us out of the problem that seems to be the bane of our existence. But instead of getting the answer, what we end up experiencing is silence and more waiting. It seems as though despite our efforts; despite staying positive and optimistic, despite our patience it looks like nothing has changed. Our life remains the same and frustration creeps in.

In one final cry for answers, we turn our heads upward and ask the spirits: What is it that I am not seeing? What is it that I should do? What action do I take?

And suddenly you hear: The thing that you are resisting is the thing you must do.

And as if all time stops you realize with deep understanding and clarity that yes, in fact the thing that you have most been resisting, avoiding, denying, mis-trusting, is the thing you must do.

We spend our time frantically searching, taking on more, running ourselves into the ground, distracting ourselves with meaningless activities to avoid the things that are hardest for us to do. We fill our days with work that is unfulfilling, spend too much time on social media, engage in shallow conversation instead of talking about the things that really matter. We avoid feeling our own pain and confronting our own demons because, well because, it’s hard af.

We avoid sitting down to write the book we’ve always wanted to write. We avoid picking up the phone to ask for help because we don’t want to expose ourselves. We run from the uncomfortable conversations. We avoid putting ourselves out there.

We avoid letting go of control because for too long drive, force, and sheer will is what we used to “make it happen” and manufacture our lives. We resist taking the first action toward our dreams because then that makes them, “more real”.

We resist and resist and resist the truth until our souls are worn out and we realize that to continue on like this would only deplete us further.

Resisting the uncomfortable has gotten you this far but now staying comfortable has become more painful than the discomfort you avoid.

Resistance serves us when we are fighting against societal injustices, patriarchal oppression, and acts of unkindness. Those are the things that as a collective we must rise up and speak out against.

But when it comes to your own souls purpose and undoing the fears that constrict you from living freely and being alive, seek out the hard truths through what you are resisting. Look to the things you avoid doing. Look to the things you hide about yourself. Look to the things that you are most afraid of. They hold the answers and have always been right in front of you this whole time.  Do the thing you are most resisting and experience true freedom.

If you're in New York City, join us on Jun 15th for a Night of Dreaming + Doing for inspired conversation and meaningful action. Details are here.