How to Deal With Fear of Putting Yourself Out There

The activity you're most avoiding, contains your biggest opportunity.

Elizabeth, a recent client of mine came to me wanting to leave her job and turn her side hustle into a full time brand consulting business. She had decades of experience, a few clients on the side and worked with some of the top companies in the branding world. Elizabeth had everything she needed to make this plan work. She knew within every bone in her body that this was something she was ready to do.

Still, she wasn’t 100% all in. Elizabeth had a deep dark fear that was holding her back.

She was terrified of putting herself out there.

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We have all been where Elizabeth was. We have all had fears of:

  • Being judged by others

  • Looking and sounding foolish

  • Being annoying by promoting ourselves online

As social creatures, we constantly crave validation and to feel that what we do matters. We want to be socially accepted and feel that we belong. It’s a human need and no one is immune to criticism no matter how thick your skin is.

What I’ve learned is that fear runs two narratives:

  1. Not good enough.

  2. Who do you think you are?

The first narrative works to keep you small and hidden in your business. The second works to lower our sense of worthiness and deservingness. These are the two stories your fears will use in order to keep you invisible. We are hardwired to blend in. It’s the reason why marketing is so hard for a lot of us because it requires bringing a level of visibility to you and your work that oftentimes makes us uncomfortable.

The way out is through 4 ways of willingness.

  1. The willingness to identify when the voice of fear is talking

  2. The willingness to challenge the story

  3. The willingness to seek out an alternate perspective

  4. The willingness to determine the forward moving action

You also must have the willingness to be seen, the willingness to be heard, the willingness to be wrong and the willingness to be criticized.

When you have willingness, you override your fears. In turn this creates space for new potential to take center stage.

So here’s what you can do from here. Think of one place where putting yourself out there could incrementally grow your business. Write it down. Do it within the next 3 days.

Got it? Good.

With love,

Ariane

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